The words from the following two songs by Ginny Owens have been a source of encouragement during this time of questioning. Ginny Owens is a Christian music artist who has been blind since the age of two. All of her songs are a story in and of themselves, but these two have really touched me. As I said earlier, we had just moved a week and a half before Toby was born, so the words to the song This Road could have been mine. They state exactly what I was feeling during this time. Read the words carefully, and hear what they are saying to you....

This Road

by Ginny Owens

 A million miles away from anything familiar

A thousand places I would rather be

So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side

Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering

In my heart I know Your plan is so much bigger

But this small part is all that I can see

And I believe You haven’t left me here to wander

Still I can’t help but ponder

Where You’re leading me

And I ask why this road? Why this way? And this load?

Tell me how far must I go?

‘Til I see, ‘til I know

Why this road?

A million miles away from anything familiar

What was it like to be so far from home?

Though You came in love

The world misunderstood You

There must have been some days when You felt all alone

But You endured, ‘cause there was joy before You

Joy that came because You sacrificed

Since You gave Yourself just to spend forever with me

Surely I can trust You’ll lead me through my darkest times

From here I cannot see why You’d choose this path for me

But I don’t have to understand to believe

That You know why, this road

Why this way?

And this load

You know how far I must go

“Til I see, ‘til I know

Why this road?

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If You Want Me To

by Ginny Owens

 The pathway is broken

And the signs are unclear

And I don’t know the reasons why You brought me here

But just because You love me the way that You do

I’m gonna walk through the valley

If You want me to

“Cause I’m not who I was

When I took my first step

And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet

So if all of these trials bring me closer to You

Then I will go through the fire

If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen

When You lead me through a world that’s not my home

But You never said it would be easy

You only said I’d never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me

And I’m all by myself

And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help

I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through

And I will go through the valley

If You want me to

So when I cross over Jordan

Gonna sing, gonna shout

I’m gonna look into Your eyes and see You’ve never let me down

So take me to the pathway

That leads me home to You

And I’ll go through the valley if You want me to.